A Love Letter to A Good Man

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Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

Every morning you open your eyes and take a deep breath, grateful to be alive.

If there’s a babe in the bed, you wake her/him/them with a kiss and a hot cup of coffee (or tea) before taking the time to prepare and share a good breakfast. Because you are one fine-looking zaddy, you groom that fine self before leaving. Another quick check to make sure you’ve cleaned up after yourself, one more deep squeeze of your babe, and you’re off.

You’re gentle and basically chill, so your commute to work is relaxed. You don’t get all hepped up from idiotic drivers or clueless people on mass transit.

You’re excited by your chosen career, and your work makes a difference. Over the span of your lifetime, you’ve touched thousands of lives. You’ve left a lasting, positive legacy.

As you go about your business, your attentive yet easy-going manner, your engaging smile, and your willingness to be helpful makes everyone’s life a little bit sweeter. Throughout your day, with your sweetheart on your mind, you reach out — and not just with texts. You take the time to call, even if it’s only for a few minutes, because you grok how important that is.

During the week, while scheduling your favorite pursuits, you plan ahead for hanging out with your honey, coordinating dates and errands. You make an effort to be on time or early, and if you’re running late — even a few minutes — you check in. You love doing things together, and you’re open to trying things out, at least once, with good humor.

You’re a grown-ass man, in a way that is totally sexy. You pay attention to your weight and your health — physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. You have a strong circle of grown-ass friends. You’re on top of your finances. You know how to define a budget and stick to it.

A consummate gentleman, you’re mindful in everything you do. You read more than you scroll or click. You know how to be fully, 100% present: your cellphone is tucked away more often than not. Aware of the importance of keeping romance alive, you’re spontaneous: sometimes you arrive home with a bouquet of hand-picked wildflowers, other times with awesome takeout or last-minute tickets to that thing we said we’d go to someday.

Dogs adore you. Cats groove on you, too, because you smell good and you’re good with your hands. Spiders, snakes, salamanders — they don’t freak you out, because you’re curious and respectful and all-around kind to critters. You interact well with children, with the right balance of play and adult direction, teaching them how to become better human beings.

The natural world thrills and fascinates you, and you don’t limit your outside exposure to weekends or vacations, because you realize life is short and we’re surrounded by magnificent places. Every chance you get, you’re on a trail/beach/river/mountainside/lake, and not just for selfies or bragging points. You are there, your sweetie right beside you, because doing so fills your soul and keeps you humble.

You are a fabulous listener! When your S.O. has a hard day, or lost someone they loved, or needs to vent, you are there for them: no ifs, ands, or buts. You know how to hold someone when they cry, or give them the space they need to recover. And when it’s your turn to share something hard, you communicate without abbreviating or prevaricating. You speak in a straightforward, detailed, way — and you keep trying to get through until there is mutual understanding.

You’re proactive instead of reactive: you aren’t readily triggered, because when something strikes you as odd or wrong, you hit the pause button first, shuffle through your options, and carefully select the best one. You show others how it’s done, and you do so without arrogance, because that’s how you roll.

If you’ve messed up, you own it: no excuses, rationalizations, or justifications. You know the value of an apology, and you learn from your mistakes. You’re constantly evolving to a higher plane. (Some of your favorite words: resilience, adaptability, flexibility, reciprocity, altruism, justice.)

You know quality when you see it, and you aren’t fooled by superficiality. You know how to build and maintain trust. You say what you mean, and you mean what you say, because you’ve spent your life practicing integrity.

With these words I am conjuring you, because I’ve held onto a quaint, old-fashioned belief that you exist.

And yes, I’ve been waiting for you all my life.

Written by

Ethnoecologist and #VanLife Coach exploring humanity, the natural world, and multispecies relationships. More at http://jeaninepfeiffer.com

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